June 17, 2010; 4:15 am
Jesus H. Christ on a Popscicle stick! My heart is still pounding. There was just a HUGE bug in my bathroom! Ginormous! With antennae as long as my fingers! I, of course, was half asleep (all this at 3:45 am) and not wearing my glasses but as I was turning out the light, I spotted him on the white shower curtain. Couldn't miss him on that bright background. Panic ensued. I dashed downstairs and put on rubber boots and ski gloves, got bug spray and the Swifter (it has a long handle like a broom most usually used for dusting floors as opposed to combat maneuvres) expecting to knock him off the curtain into the tub and PRESTO! he would be history when I washed him down the drain. Only by the time I got back upstairs the bastard had relocated and was half way up the bathroom door. I NUKED him with bug spray and let me tell you, he certainly didn't go down without a fight. Sucker struggled all the way to the middle of the rug in the guest bedroom, me in tow spraying him with bug junk before he finally slowed down and I began whacking him with the Swifter. Now that had to be a sight-- me in blue and green cotton jammies, tall black rubber boots, beige ski gloves beating the hell out of this damn bug, covered in half a bottle of silvery-white bug spray, with my Swifter. There's a whole new marketing strategy for Swifter! Finally when I was sure he was a goner, I lifted the Swifter to peek and damn, if he didn't move so I pounded the crap out of him some more. When the carnage was over, I stomped downstairs to get paper towel (at least 10 sheets), stomped back up the stairs in case he was resurrected and was on the move again, scooped him up, and stomped back downstairs again to flush him in the powder room cuz no way in hell he was going to come floating back upstream into my toilet bowl. I was already traumatized enough to have that thought bounce around in my head for the next week. I cleaned up the river of bug spray cascading all over the floor in the hall (why do they make that stuff smell like flowers?), wiped off the bottom of the Swifter, and got myself a Popscicle to calm myself down. I may never sleep again. And so how was your nite?
Kudos to you on starting your new blog. You've gotten underway with a bang - actually several bangs and a few whumps, too. It's always great to make an energetic start and you've done that for sure. I hope you're well, Aileen. Great to read about you and only wish we connected in real time on occasion. All best.
ReplyDeleteGreat to see you've got a blog! That was quite the creepy-crawly adventure. At least he didn't fly. And that flower smell is so you don't have to know what the chemicals really smell like. Don't know if you remember, but back in the day Raid's fragrance was au natural. P.U.!
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